Struggling with not feeling close to my family and at the same time distancing myself to ease the feelings of not being supported, cared about, invested in, and invisible.
While I acknowledge that people show love in many ways, I wonder if I am the only one who has really considered that love should be shown and given based on how others need it. I believe it is our duty to love one another. I question, if you are not receiving love can loving others feel that void?
Not only have I been going through those feelings, but I have been trying to answer the questions I have about life, my future and so much more. There is so much I don't know about how the world operates, how I operate, and how things are supposed to be. I feel like I should be 10 steps ahead of where I am now and I am constantly trying to figure it all out.
From love to what I want to do with my life. Friends, family, what I enjoy doing, what I want, my relationship with God, how to carry myself as a woman, and contemplating living life on my own in another state.
So much of life that is left... knowing where to start to live it now that friends seem to be scarce and fun for others is getting drunk every weekend. I'm just going to start because I don't want to be 50 looking back at my life wishing I had done more. I'm just going to have to push pass all my thoughts and get to going on this journey of life after college.
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